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Not-So-Superhero Script
Riff: How awesome! It's Captain Swinger and Halfnote! (Opens the comic) An' in deir newest issue-dey're savin' Wendy Warmheart from dat evil villain, Dissonance! (Episode cuts to inside of comic, as Riff is mimicking the heroes' voices as he reads) Fear not, citizen! We will save you from dat off-key tyrant! Boom! Pow! Catchy song! (Susan and Rose enter) Rose: Hey, Riff! What are you doin'? Riff: Jis' reading a Captain Swinger and Halfnote comic! Aren't they awesome? (The girls just stare at him) Riff: (giggles) Oh, ho! I guess you're not really da comic book type. But, wouldn't it be cool if I were a superhero and I could protect Beadsville from baddies like Captain Swinger and Halfnote protect the city of 88 Keys? Susan: Uh...aw-right. Riff: Let's do dis! (He grabs his Be-Bop Boy costume and sings his alterego's song.) Now, where can I find crime in Beadsville... (Episode cuts to the Jazz Mall, where Ethan, Sarah and Sophia are hanging out at Diz's Diner as Riff walks past) Sophia: HELP! Riff: A cry for help! Dis looks like a job fo' Be-Bop Boy! (Rushes into the diner) Jis' call me Be-Bop Boy, here to save the day and bring you joy! Ethan: Uh, Riff...why are you wearing that superhero costume? Sarah: What's with the undies over your pants? Riff: (giggles) Oh, ho! In the superhero world, we call dem "ova'wear"-so, I heard a cry fo' help! What seems to be da problem? Sophia: Oh, Ri-I mean, Be-Bop Boy, I can't decide whether to get the Build Your Own JazzBurger or the Double-Dog Dare! I mean, I love them both! Riff: How 'bout we do a Jazzburger together? Sophia: Okay. (Sharlee Sax (voiced by Kari Wahlgren in voice of Mindy from Bolt) comes over to the table) Sharlee: Hello and welcome to Diz's Diner, may I take your orders? Ethan: Yeah, I'll have a Be-Bop BLT with a Groovy Greek Salad on the side. Sarah: A Double-Dog Dare for me! Sophia: And a JazzBurger for me and my hero, Be-Bop Boy! Waitress: Alright! Anything to drink? Ethan: Just water for the three of us. Waitress: Alright! (Episode cuts to the streets of Beadsville where Riff is chatting with Susan and Rose as he walks) Riff: And so, I heard a cry fo' help - and it was jus' Sophia having trouble decidin' what to eat at da diner! Dat is NOT the kind of crime I wanted to fight! Every good hero needs an arch-nemesis! Rose: Don't worry! (Grabs a superhero costume of her own) Bwa-haha! It is I, your arch-nemesis, Thorn! Riff: Thorn. We meet again! Rose: That's right, Be-Bop Boy! And I'm gonna...um...(picks up a dollar she found on the sidewalk) STEAL THIS DOLLAR FROM THE SIDEWALK! BWA-HAHAHAHAHA! Riff: (snatches the dollar out of her hand) Thorn, Thorn, Thorn. You shouldn't be stealin' things! Anoduh crime fought by Be-Bop Boy! Oh, ho! Rose: Curses! Foiled again! Susan: Lamest crime evuh, "Thorn"! Rose: SUSAN?! Susan: Sorry... Rose: It's OK. Riff: I need a real crime t' fight! Susan: Oh, wouldn't it be swingin' if maybe, like, Dissonance came to Beadsville and you, Be-Bop Boy, had to fight him? Dissonance: (voiced by Daran Nolis in voice of Jorgen from Fairly OddParents) Did someone say...Dissonance came to Beadsville? (Dissonance's face is shown) Riff, Rose, and Susan: DISSONANCE?! Captain Swinger: Fear not, citizen! Riff, Rose, and Susan: CAPTAIN SWINGER?!?! Half-Note: And Half-Note! Rose: (screams) Susan: (faints) Riff: I CAN'T...I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! It's really you! Rose and Susan: Ahhhhh-how dreamy! Rose: Captain swinger is a real hunk-of burning love! Susan: Pawdon moi, but yo' accent is funny. Captain Swinger: I'm Cajun. Born and raised on da bayou! Riff: I'm Cajun too! Dat is definitely somethin' we both 'haz' in common. Captain Swinger: I see anoduh thing! Riff: What is it? Captain Swinger: We both love to fight crime! I can tell by yo' ovawear. Riff: Oh, ho! I'm yo' number-one fan! Jis' call me Be-Bop Boy! Captain Swinger: So, Be-Bop Boy, wh- Half-Note: Dancing dynamics, Captain Swinger! While you and Be-Bop Boy were busy socializing, Dissonance went over to the radio tower! Who knows what kind of dastardly deeds he could be doing? Captain Swinger: This calls for some Captain Swinger and Half-Note power! Would you like to help us, Be-Bop Boy?! Riff: Dis sho' is a dream come true! (Episode cuts to the inside of the radio tower. Dissonance is inside of the studio. He has the DJ of the radio station asleep on the floor, while he introduces himself.) Dissonance: Good afternoon, Beadsville! This is DJ Dissonance on WHJ-FM, with a song that'll control your mind...literally! (Plays a repetitive and annoying instrumental song over the radio. Every radio station in Beadsville begins to play the song, which drives everyone crazy.) Rose: (covering her ears) WHAT IS THAT AWFUL SONG? Susan: (eyes swirling, her mind controlled by Dissonance's song) ALL HAIL THE GREAT DISSONANCE. Matthew, Sophia and Ethan (at the diner): ALL HAIL THE GREAT DISSONANCE. (Riff, Captain Swinger, and Half-Note enter the studio.) Dissonance: Yes! Yes! It's working! Captain Swinger: Not if we can fix this! Dissonance: Who's the other sidekick? The little one with the glasses? Riff: As I always say, "jis' call me Be-Bop Boy!" Captain Swinger: Ready, boys? Riff and Half-Note: YEAH! Dissonance: NO! (Makes his annoying song even louder) Now, my song is so loud, that it'll be heard not just in Beadsville...BUT IN THE WHOLE STATE OF LOUISIANA! (Captain Swinger takes Dissonance's CD out) Captain Swinger: Nothing's better than live music over the good ol' radio! (Captain Swinger and Half-Note sing Rockin' Pneumonia and the Boogie-Woogie Flu.) Category:Scripts